


Nineteen Years of Pain for a Lifetime of Happiness

by trippingovermyowntwofeet



Category: FOG[电竞] - 漫漫何其多 | FOG[Diàn Jìng] - Màn Màn Hé Qí Duō
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, CG5k, M/M, Misunderstandings, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:20:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26129449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trippingovermyowntwofeet/pseuds/trippingovermyowntwofeet
Summary: Soulmate AU-The first words your soulmate ever said or will say to you appear somewhere on your body once you turn 18.A story of how Shi Luo became the way he is mixed with a soulmate AU told in years.
Relationships: Shi Luo/Yu Sui (FOG)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 30





	1. Wilting

**Author's Note:**

> Please enjoy~

Age One.  
Shi Luo doesn’t remember much. He’s an infant after all but he seemed to recall two voices tenderly encouraging him as he spoke his first words.  
  


Age Two.  
Shi Luo discovered he really likes wontons.  
  


Age Three.  
Shi Luo’s house has three bedrooms. One is his own, it is a nice dark shade of ocean blue. Another is his parents’, it is cloudy gray like clouds. The last is the guest bedroom that is an eye-blinding shade of bright white. He noticed how every morning someone exits the white room.  
  


Age Four.  
Shi Luo watched a man storming out of the house. He watched his mommy chase after him as he sat on the floor playing with his blocks.  
  


Age Five.  
Shi Luo is five when he first learns about soulmates. He layed in bed, bed sheets up to his chin as he asked his mommy about soulmates.

“What are soulmates?”

“Soulmates are like a prince and a princess. A match made in heaven. They inspire each other to be better people. They make your insides gooey and make you feel like you’re on top of the world. For someone like you, being with them is like eating wontons everyday breakfast, lunch, and dinner.” She joked.

He kicked his feet in the sheets as she giggled at him. “How do you find them?”

“The first words they ever said or will say to you will appear on your skin when you turn eighteen.” His mother told him with a giggle. “Everyone has one. They will make you feel like the happiest person in the world.”

He doesn’t miss the way she glanced at the back of her hand as she finished off her sentence. “Goodnight Luo Luo. One day you will find your own princess.” She kissed him on his forehead.

Shi Luo doesn’t know if fairy tale endings are possible but this is his mommy and she wouldn’t lie to him. He nodded his head and agreed with her, showing her a bright smile as he told her goodnight too.  
  


Age Six.  
Shi Luo went to school for the first time. One of his first assignments is to draw his family. He drew his mommy and himself.

“Student Shi,” a nameless classmate pointed at his drawing. “Where is your daddy?”

He ignored the girl. He’s content to have his mommy. He watched the pesky girl raise her hand high in the air, her pigtails swaying behind her as she pushes her chair back with a screech and abruptly stands up.

“Teacher! Student Shi doesn’t have a daddy on his drawing!” She announced for the whole room.

He truly wants a hole to crawl in as he felt all of his classmates’ eyes bore into him. He feels like an exotic animal. He just doesn’t have a father, what’s the big deal?

The teacher stopped helping the student she was previously attending. “That’s okay. Everyone’s families are different. Now don’t bother Student Shi.” She easily diverted their attention from him when she begins to introduce the locations of the different art supplies.

If his classmates isolate him a little, he doesn’t really mind. He’s always been more of a loner anyway.  
  


Age Seven.  
Shi Luo brought up the topic of soulmates to his mommy again. He heard classmates talking about how their parents were soulmates. He asked his mom if she and his father were soulmates. She doesn’t respond to him but when she leaned down to give him a goodnight kiss, he smelt something masculine on her lips. That night he realized his mommy is now his mother.  
  


Age Eight.  
His mother gifted him a music player along with headphones. She’s been distancing herself from him.  
  


Age Nine.  
It was a hot summer like any other. The heat was heavy as it radiated from the coal-black road. Cicadas chirp in the background. Plants stretched themselves out desperately searching for moisture as the sun cooked them to a crisp. School had finished and it was the beginning of summer vacation.

Shi Luo sat in the car clutching his backpack to his chest as he gazed at his mother with tearful eyes under his long eyelashes. “Don’t leave me here.” He whispered in a small voice.

His mother has an exasperated smile. Her eyes crinkled on the side as she brushes a lock of brown hair behind her ear. “Luo Luo, it’s only one summer vacation. Once the summer vacation is over, Mommy will pick you back up.”

Shi Luo shook his head rapidly. He is a smart child. He had watched her pack all his books, toys, and other random trinkets into boxes. He watched his room steadily become emptier and emptier. He never knew there was such a large crack on the wall in his closet. He’d spy from behind the window glass as she would leave the house with boxes of his stuff and head off in her car. He’d watch her come back with an almost relieved smile on her face.

She was getting rid of him.

Now here he was at his father’s house. Less than five meters away before his fate would arrive. Unwanted. Forgotten. Another chapter in his mother’s life that was now over. Shi Luo teared up. “I don’t want to go.”

His mother reached out a hand and placed it on his shoulder. She gently rubbed him, comforting him as if she wasn’t about to ship him away in the next few minutes.

Shi Luo looked up from his backpack. His eyes wet as tears welled up. “Please don’t leave me here. I’ll do whatever you say. I won’t bother you. Please don’t leave me here.”

She pulled a tissue from the tissue box in the car and gently wiped his face. With a reluctant smile, she said, “Don’t say such childish things. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. Don’t worry.”

She held his small hands within hers. Shi Luo glanced at the back of her right hand where the words “Hi, what can I get for you?” should’ve sat. All he sees is a blank slate. She had concealed her mark. Had she met her soulmate? Was this why she didn’t want Shi Luo anymore? Had she met her one true love? Was this why she wanted him erased?

“Don’t make trouble, don’t be afraid, you’ll just stay for summer vacation. As long as you perform well and make your father like you, it will just be one summer vacation.”

Like? He had to gain his father’s approval? Was familial love not a natural occurrence? Since when did he have to fight for his father’s love? Since when did his mother stop loving him? Better yet, if he gained his father’s approval wouldn’t he be stuck here forever?

As if she read his mind, she gave him a gentle kiss on his forehead that only feels like acid to him. “Luo Luo, as soon as summer vacation is over, I’ll take you back home.”

Shi Luo sat quietly. Trembling every few seconds or so. So this was it? The deal was he had to perform well like a circus monkey for the ring master’s approval? He gulped, his lips quivered as he gazes into the eyes of his mother. “There’s nothing I can do? Nothing I can say to stay with you?”

His mother sighed. Her hand shifted his black locks away as she looked at him directly in the eyes where he could see his own reflection. His watery eyes stared into her rigid ones. “Do you promise to pick me up after summer vacation?”

“Let’s go Shi Luo.”

She grabbed him by the arm and dragged him towards the doorsteps. He feels like a prisoner on death row as he dug his feet into the ground and squirmed in her grasp. “No please no!”

“Behave Shi Luo. Your father will love you.” She repeated as she pulled him towards his end. Will he love me the way you love me? He desperately wanted to ask. Yet he was helpless as she knocked on the door four times.

The gateway to hell opens. A man he presumed to be his father stands tall and firm. His mother gestured a hand at his absent father. “This is your father, Ke Chunjie. Perform your best for him.” In Shi Luo’s vision, all he saw was a tall daunting man who clearly couldn’t be bothered with this offspring of his. His mother’s words were translated into “This is your new owner, Ke Chunjie. Be a good boy for him.”

Shi Luo sniffed. So he was going to be treated like a dog. That’s okay. Mother will pick him up. Right? He looked up to his mother for reassurance. She patted him on the back and leaned down to his ear. “End of summer vacation,” she whispered.

He entered the doorway. He has passed an invisible wall. She walked away from him. Further and further away. Not once does she look back.  
  


Age Ten.  
WInter vacation began. Shi Luo hasn’t fully accepted the fact that his mother won’t return. But he’s sure he will, eventually. The bitter frost outside doesn’t compare to how cold his heart feels.  
  


Age Eleven.  
His head got whipped to the side when he accidentally asked if his father is soulmates with his mother. He hadn’t meant for it to slip out, but the curiosity was killing him.

“Me and her soulmates? Whoever makes these bonds must be out of their minds.” His father laughed with a hint of maliciousness. “I’d rather my soulmate be a dog than her.”

Shi Luo realized those fairytale endings his mother told him about are fake. Soulmates don’t guarantee happiness. He resolved to never ask his father a question again. That year Shi Luo learned how to be intelligent in the matter of people. He isn’t hit again.  
  


Age Twelve.  
His father chases after him over his grades. He realized his father wanted to use him as a tool to show off in front of his grandfather. He watched his uncle, aunt, and cousin chide over him. Their scoldings are fake. He knew they wanted him to fail. If he fails, his father gets nothing. This hypocritical family. Is there any true love?

At one of their family meetings, the topics about soulmates are brought up once more. He glanced at his uncle and aunt’s hands that were deeply intertwined. Two hypocrites being bonded together. Wonderful. Shi Luo felt his doubt in soulmates growing. Weren’t soulmates meant to better each other? He only felt these two degenerates grow worse together…

It’s a shame soulmates aren’t a topic discussed at school. He has checked the library multiple times but there was not a single scientific book about them. There were plenty in the romance section but he’d rather be dead than caught holding one of those.  
  


Age Thirteen.  
He was starving. He clutched his stomach that growled at him begging to be fed. Shi Luo refused to ask his father for breakfast money. The pain of swallowing food is not worth the pain of swallowing his pride.

It has been a full school semester. He was a growing child, he knows it isn’t healthy of him to skip meals but it can’t hurt. Surely his father would recall that he still had a child at home right. He smiled crookedly at the thought. As if that man would give a f*ck about him, he knows he’s out gambling or drinking away the money. Maybe he’s throwing it into the trash bin right now by investing in some other high-risk low return project. Yet he had the guts to accuse him of potentially stealing money for his own use.

Shi Luo quietly sat at his desk in the back of the room. He ignored his classmates and they do the same to him. The teacher walked into the room, holding a textbook in her hand as she called for the class to quiet down.

“Student Shi?” She called on him to answer the question.

He stood straight for maybe three or four seconds before the floor swayed below him. His muscles relaxed. His eyes closed. The last thing he recalled is a panicked scream.

He woke up in a hospital bed five hours later. There is no one in the room. As expected. He glanced at his arm where a needle is feeding him vital nutrition. His eyes scanned the bright white room. He felt caged.

A nurse walked in a few minutes later to check up on him. “Patient Shi? How are you feeling?”

“Good.”

He stared at the words above her eyebrow. There in a robotic looking font sat the words, “i love your ign lol”. He found it impressive that she wears her mark proudly. Typically, people cover their words, to avoid misidentification or fakers. Sometimes the words are too embarrassing, so they’re covered too.

She smiled at him. “That’s good. You were brought here by the school nurse. Your blood sugar levels are awfully low. The school has called your father and I’m sure he’ll be here soon.”

He nods at her.

“I wonder how your blood sugar levels got so low. Are you eating enough?” She asked him with true concern in her eyes.

He doesn’t make a move to respond as his vision is caught by an older male entering the room.

“Luo Luo! What happened? Are you okay?” He was shot with a barrage of meaningless questions. He smirked internally, so his father cared about his face this much huh?

“I’m fine, Father.” The word feels foreign on his tongue. He can count the number of times he’s used the word on one hand. He decided he hates it.

The nurse brightened up when she saw his father. “Ah Mr. Shi.”

“Mr. Ke.” Ke Chunjie corrected her quickly.

“Oh, Mr. Ke your son fainted from low blood sugar levels at school, do you know if he’s eating well?”

His father gulped. He saw a spark of scheming flare in his eyes. “Of course, he is. I’ve been busy with work, maybe I need to allocate more of an allowance for him. Haha.”

“Oh okay.” The nurse responded. “I’ll leave you two then, Patient Shi can leave in about twenty minutes.” She walked out of the room and closed the door behind her leaving him alone with this lousy parent.

“Luo Luo, Dad is sorry for forgetting to give you breakfast money.” His father turned to him and asked him for pointless forgiveness.

“Okay.”

“It won’t happen again Luo Luo. You forgive Dad right?”

Shi Luo smirked as he rested his head against the cool pillow and closed his eyes. “I’m tired. I’m gonna sleep.”

“Rest Luo.” His father went to sit on one of the plastic chairs in the room. When he thought his son was asleep he made a phone call.

“Hey brother. Thanks for the ride. Turns out Shi Luo fainted from low blood sugar. You should tell Dad to give me more funds, turns out Shi Luo isn’t eating enough. I need more money, the budget is stretched tight.”

A few pauses.

“What do you mean I forgot to give him his breakfast money? Okay, okay I was wrong.”

A few more hums from his father.

“Yes, yes I won’t forget again. Once is enough.”

Shi Luo remained motionless as he lay on the bed. He ironically preferred the familial care from the stranger than the strange care from his family.  
  


Age Fourteen.  
This was his fifth time running away from home this year. He casually walked through the familiar streets of the city. In the past, he would’ve looked over his shoulder wondering if he would be dragged home. It had happened before, a car stopped by the roadside and his cousin clambered out and “begged” for him to come home. He rolled his eyes at the thought.

It seems they have given up. His father knew he will eventually pop up in the house again when he needed shelter. His father tried putting a lock on his bedroom door once. He climbed out the window onto the emergency stairs that night. He got a few scrapes but the look on his father’s face when he sat at the kitchen counter eating breakfast was worth it. The locks came off that afternoon.

He had worked hard on getting his own small source of income. He arrived at one of the internet cafes he frequented. He greeted the manager who handed him a water bottle as he approached his usual computer.

He turned on the computer and slid his ID card, 2000-Luo, into the reader. The familiar FOG loading screen came to life. As he waited for the game to load, his eyes glanced upwards at the promotional poster of Team Knife Edge.

He ignores the strikers and sniper. His eyes focused on the medic in the center of the promotional piece. Whisper. An assassin medic, one of a kind. A type of playstyle he wanted to mimic.

A future goal he assumed. Not the professional career though, he knows his own shortcomings. He wasn’t good enough to be pro yet, nor does his personality suit the professional field. He had browsed forums before and knew the penalty for spraying is more than he made in a month from his streams and carries.

Not to mention, going pro would mean his father had something to show his grandfather. Sure an esport career wasn’t the best achievement to compare to his older cousin’s splendid resume of clubs, grades, and social circle, but it was still something.

The game finally loaded in. Shi Luo clicked on the start button and let a small smile hang on his lips.  
  


Age Fifteen.  
“I’m going to count to three.” The woman told him as she held the ear piercing gun to his ear in her pink manicured nails. Today he is getting his second piercing on his right ear. His hair is still black as the night sky but he plans to dye it soon. He nodded when she asked him if he’s ready.

The pain comes and goes like a flash of lightning. It’s a sharp quick pinch.

“Done.” She smiled at him and gestured at him to follow her to the cash register. As they moved towards the cash register, he noticed a ginormous scrawl of words that stretch across both of her shoulder blades. “I love that shade of pink!”

“I love that shade of pink?” He pondered out loud. The woman was wearing a hot pink blouse that exposes her entire back, isn’t she afraid that someone might try to fake a soul bond with her.

“Oh? My words?” Her laugh is like a fairy. “I’m not scared of anyone seeing them if you’re asking.” She blew a bubble with her bubblegum. “I used to wear tops that covered them until I met my soulmate.” She leaned against the counter, her dyed pink hair falling over her shoulders. She casted a mischievous glance at the younger male. “But then, I met her. Now I can wear and dress how I want. I can act however I want and she’ll still love me”

Shi Luo simply nodded at her while placing cash on the counter.

“You’ll meet your own one day. I’m telling you! Sparks will fly!”

“I doubt it.” He whispered under his breath. The female heard him and sighed.

“You need to think more positively. Here have a pack of gum.” She handed him a pack of bubblegum. He politely thanked her and left the store.

He left the store with a new piercing, a pack of bubblegum, and a rekindled hope that his soulmate can make him feel happy.  
  


Age Sixteen.  
He rubbed his white hair as he opened the door to his new apartment. He finally had enough savings to have his own stable living space. It was a small apartment, suitable for someone who was single and didn’t ask for much.

He set his items down and unpacked his clothes into the closet. With this, he was free of his father’s control. He laid on the bed and sighed with contentedness.  
  


Age Seventeen.  
Another day, another stream. He sat in front of his computer with the FOG game open as he set up his webcam. He ran his fingers through his short white hair and fiddled with one of his black earrings. Even though he is a technical game anchor, caring about appearances is natural too.

People are more likely to watch someone who looks presentable after all. He swayed the mouse back and forth as he decided what category to put his stream under. He slid the mouse between the house dance and the mukbang channel. He decided to randomly pick one and started the stream.

The barrage came alive as notifications are sent out like carrier pigeons. His room slowly gained viewers like water trickling from a faucet as they exponentially appeared. Some fans even dropped him rewards without Shi Luo having to start a game.

[Luoooo, house dance channel? Are you trying to scare the girls with your cold face?]  
[Here to watch you abuse noobs :)))))]  
[Luo my boyfriend! Please play some good matches today! Your girlfriend has rewards to give you!]

Shi Luo nodded and does his customary greeting. “Hello everyone, playing on the national server today. Rank 179, let’s see how high I can climb.” His voice is low as he spoke into the mic.

He played a couple of games normally. Abusing other players with his improved assassin medic. It isn’t perfect yet, but adequate enough as a technical game anchor to earn a living.

He ended one of the games with a victory when he saw a notification on his friend’s tab. He clicked open the tab with a red bubble on the side.

[① Heartbroken Person] sent a friend request. Reason for the application [Little gege, won’t you ease my broken heart a little?]

Shi Luo looked at the ID, his slightly sharp eyebrows twitching. The next second, he decisively pressed “decline”.

What type of bullsh*t was that? He knows his appearance may look deceiving but he wasn’t popular enough for trolls to bother him right?

He was about to start another game when he saw another friend request prompt at the lower-left corner. He clicked it open.

System prompt: [Cruel Bloody Dream] sent you a friend request. The reason for applying [my deliberate provocation, how long can you endure? ……], accept or reject?

Shi Luo: “...”

He didn’t want to endure it even for a second, and directly refused. But only half a minute later, a new friend request came in again.

System prompt: [Living Badly] sent you a friend request. The reason for applying [gambled, got drunk, hurt and got hurt for you before, I placed my bet and never regretted.] accept or reject?

He quickly refused and then ten seconds later …

System prompt: [For my Brothers] sent you a friend request. The reason for applying [屮口 屮! Who would dare break my brothers’ wings? I will destroy his entire heaven! ] accept or reject?

Shi Luo closed his eyes. His eyes stung.

He clicked on ‘reject’ again, and started another match, He stopped looking at the system prompts and concentrated on playing the game.

If he looked at any more of these prompts, his IQ might start going down.

He grabbed his phone and switched it on. He went to the “blocked” section and unblocked a certain person. He hit the call button and waited for this certain person to pick up.

The call connected and with a cold voice he spoke. ““Ke Hao, is this as much as you can do? You posted my information on some sort of alternative dating forum and had a bunch of freaks come and harass me online?” He huffed. “… Did you think that would scare me? ”

He hung up on him after speaking and threw his phone back on the table. He queued for another match and began to take out his annoyance on the opposing team. His keyboard made aggressive clicking sounds as he hit the keys.

Shi Luo had finished another match and continued to queue for another one. When he saw another ominous flashing system prompt sign, Shi Luo sneered and opened it.System prompt: [Nervous about Online Dating?] sent you a friend request. The reason for applying [QAQ Someone in the forum posted that I could get 10 yuan at a time for harassing you online. Little Gege, I have no more money for breakfast tomorrow. Can I add you please? Brother help me out!] accept or reject?

Shi Luo was preparing to hit reject when he suddenly paused.  
  
10 yuan… He recalled the times he didn’t have breakfast money. He could afford it.  
  
Shi Luo had on a terrible expression as he looked at this friend request. His face was darker than the bottom of a pot.  
  
After half a minute of hesitation, Shi Luo clicked accept.  
  
Shi Luo clicked on the in-game chat box and with a cold expression on his face, sent a message to his newly added friend. [Are you with those guys just now?]  
  
There quickly came a reply. [No way, I only bury love by myself. I haven’t joined any family.]  
  
Shi Luo’s arm was itchy.  
  
Shi Luo resisted the strong urge to directly delete the other, typing: [Do what you want but don’t disturb me.]  
  
Nervous about Online Dating? immediately responded. [Okay. But gege, I also play this game. Can you take me with you to play a match?]  
  
Shi Luo typed out: [No.]  
  
“Nervous about Online Dating? added [Then, can you add me on WeChat, gege? I’ll wait until you have time to take me with you to play a game. ]  
  
Shi Luo suppressed his ire. He hesitated for a full minute before typing out a series of numbers. With a ‘ding’, he got a friend request on WeChat.  
  
Shi Luo quickly closed the in-game chat interface and focused on playing the game.  
  
What a night…  
  
  
Age Eighteen.  
12:00 AM. He watched the clock read. He sat quietly in his room at the IAC base. Typically, he’d still be in the training room, but since he was turning eighteen soon, his superiors had given him permission to leave early. Some of his teammates had patted him on the back hoping him well wishes.  
  
He was born exactly at 12:05 AM. FIve more minutes, before the words would appear. He had looked up the feeling of soulmate words appearing on your skin beforehand. The articles had claimed it felt different for every person. He wondered if the words would burn his skin or if they would feel like tickles. Either way, it didn’t matter all that much did it?  
  
12:01 AM. Four more minutes, before the words would appear. He double-checked that he locked the door before taking off his shirt. He stood in front of the mirror tracing over his pale unblemished skin. He’d been told he would’ve looked aristocratic if his hair wasn’t white and his piercings were hidden.  
  
12:02 AM. Three more minutes, before the words would appear. He couldn’t help but recall the words on the nurse who took care of him when he had low blood sugar. Would his words be from texts too or would his words be spoken to him?  
  
12:03 AM. Two more minutes, before the words would appear. He wondered how the pink-haired lady and her partner were doing. Would he get to experience her same carefreeness when he met his partner?

12:04 AM. One more minute, before the words would appear. Even though he despised her for abandoning him, he recalled his mother’s words ‘Soulmates are like a prince and a princess.’ Would he truly meet his own princess?

12:05 AM. The words slowly formed along his skin. He could feel the soft touch similar to feather-like kisses forming along his right wrist. He didn’t watch them get inked on his skin. No, he’d wait for them to finish first before seeing what had been inscribed upon his skin. He knew the moment they stopped forming on his skin.

With a cautious deep breath, he held the back of his right hand up to eye level. He bit his lip and turned his hand around. His eyes instantly narrowed on the black words.

[Little gege, won’t you ease my broken heart a little?]

He froze. His eyes widened and he felt tears pricking in the back of his eyes. He let out a choked sob as he stared at those familiar words. He used his left hand to rub viciously at the black words on his hand. Get off me. He cried within his mind. No, no, no! He didn’t want these words, he’d rather be wordless. Anything was better than having words from him on his skin.

He grabbed a black wristband and slipped it on his wrist. He put on a shirt and speed-walked out of his room. He ignored all of his teammates and staff at the base as he made a beeline for the fridge.

F*ck prince and princesses. F*ck matches made in heaven. F*ck confidence. F*ck sparks. F*ck soulmates.

That night Shi Luo drank until the morning sunlight.  
  


Age Nineteen.  
Shi Luo sat alone in the empty private room on the stool like a statue. His left hand absentmindedly caressing the black wristband on his right wrist. He wasn’t stupid. Yu Sui was two years older than him. Yu Sui had also met him when he was nineteen while Shi Luo was only seventeen.

In other words, Yu Sui fully knew that Shi Luo was his soulmate the moment he texted him those uncommon words. He knew Shi Luo was his soulmate in the two short months they spent together. Yu Sui fully knew that Shi Luo was his soulmate when he sold him to NSN and left him for the European division.

Shi Luo tilted his head up as he took another sip of beer. What a scum male. He didn’t know if he should laugh or cry at being the soulmate of a scum man. For one year, he had engaged in drinking and smoking to a new level. Anything to distract him from those cursed words on his wrist.

He had questioned cutting before. If cutting would make those ugly words disappear from his skin. He had eventually decided against the idea as cutting himself to remove the words was a clear sign of defeat. Defeat without a battle, as if he’d let Yu Sui get away with his crime so easily.

Shi Luo heard footsteps coming from the doorway. Shi Luo glanced up and frowned at Yu Sui with obvious dissatisfaction. “You’ve won. Why haven’t you left? Did you come back to laugh at me?”

Yu Sui stared at the nine drinks remaining on the table, his fingertips trembling slightly.  
  
Shi Luo then realized something and said sharply, “It’s over, get out of here!!!” Shi Luo lunged forwards trying to stop this scum male.  
  
Yu Sui turned a deaf ear and without giving Shi Luo a chance to block him, went forward and drank one of the untouched glasses.  
  
Shi Luo watched Yu Sui’s eyes change instantly and he turned to look at Shi Luo incredulously.  
  
Shi Luo’s eyes were completely red as though he wanted to kill someone. He stepped forward and grabbed Yu’s wrist, his voice was hoarse, and he gritted out word per word, “I, said…….. Leave.”  
  
Yu Sui’s lips trembled slightly, and he slowly but firmly pushed away Shi Luo’s hand. Shi Luo put his fisted hands down. It was over. He watched him take another glass of untouched “vodka” and took a sip.  
  
Yu Sui’s entire person was rooted in place.  
  
After a while, Yu Sui picked up another glass once again, took a sip and put it down; took another glass, took a sip, and put it down again.  
  
Shi Luo had his jaw clenched tightly.  
  
Like this, Yu Sui, with hands trembling, took glass after glass, until he had drank from each of the remaining nine glasses.  
  
Ten cups of drinks, each and every one of which was lemon tea. His ploy was discovered. Curse this intelligent soulmate. Inside the private room, Shi Luo’s chest was heaving.  
  
Yu Sui stared at Shi Luo with a complex look in his eyes. He slowly put down the wine glass.  
  
“Don’t you think this feels like deja vu?”  
  
Shi Luo’s eyes were red, and his voice was unsteady. “In those days…when you found out why I gave you breakfast money, were you stung by your conscience?”  
  
“The night before you sold me to NSN, when you saw that I had finally opened up to you, did you hesitate a little?” He continued ignoring the pain in his chest.  
  
“After killing Evil 34 times, when you finally found out that it was my new ID, you must have regretted it for a second or two, right?”  
  
Shi Luo tried his best to make himself sound light and casual. He tried his best to suppress the sobs that were threatening to escape from his throat. “I didn’t guess wrong did I? But … Back then, weren’t you pretty good at pretending?”  
  
“Right, you even pretended that you didn’t know I was your soulmate.” He laughed to try and cover a cry that came from him. “You did all of this while knowing who I was. I told you about my encounters with soulmates haven’t I? How my parents despised each other with a passion, even though they were soulmates? How I felt the faintest bit of hope from that nurse and that shop owner that soulmates could work out?”  
  
“You’re just here to crush my fantasies aren’t you?”  
  
After Shi Luo joined the FS team, he brought up many old matters. After all, he wasn’t the type to let a sleeping dog lie. One of the matters he brought up quite often was about his experience with soulmates, it must’ve been quite ironic for Yu Sui to listen to him.  
  
“What’s going to happen now?” Shi Luo grabbed onto Yu Sui’s wrists; his eyes full of hatred. “Can’t we treat this as if you never came back? Can’t you pretend that you thought all the other nine glasses were full of alcohol? Obviously nobody else has found out. No one saw through it …just pretend you don’t know; like you never came back to verify. Is that so hard to do? ”  
  
“Yu Shen …” Shi Luo hated how he couldn’t just swallow whole the person in front of him. “Everyone’s already an adult. Hasn’t anyone told you? Discretion is the better part of valor?”  
  
He took a deep breath and then tilted his head down so that he could only see Yu Sui’s chest in front of him. “Yu Shen … we can even pretend. We aren’t soulmates.”  
  
We can pretend our bond doesn’t go farther to the point that there is no scientific explanation.  
  
Yu Sui looked at Shi Luo for a long time and holding back his emotions, said, “Shi Luo, this is different from what you told me before I left.”  
  
Shi Luo wanted to curse him out. He wanted to unleash his rage that he had kept bottled for two years upon Yu Sui. Yet he couldn’t do it, what use was expressing himself when the other party didn’t seem to care? The rest of the night was a blur as Yu Sui told him about how he would get his transfer from IAC in a normal process.  
  
Yu Sui left him in the private room when he finished talking. Not once did he mention the word ‘soulmate’ to him.

Shi Luo cried to himself in the private room. His body shook as tremors seized him like an electric current. He cried about his parents, his family, his work, his team, and Yu Sui. He sobbed about Yu Sui the most. The soulmate who clearly didn’t want him as much as Shi Luo did.

All he wanted was a little bit of love. Was that too much to ask for?


	2. Blooming

Shi Luo is frozen. He’s in a trance. His spine is stiff. His eyes are strangely unfocused on everything except the man before him. He wondered if he heard him wrong. Is he dreaming? Did he ever leave IAC?

“Won’t you let me be a good soulmate?”

The words repeat in his head like a broken record player stuck on the same lyrics. Had he misheard?

Yu Sui stared at Shi Luo with a complicated look in his eyes. He had previously cleared away all the misunderstandings between them. Everything had been cleared up in their timeline. Especially the matter of how he treated his soulmate with a friendship like closeness in their two months together. Surely his actions hadn’t been that scum that his soulmate was questioning his genuine feelings and thoughts right now right?

He stretched out a hand to hold Shi Luo’s chin. He noticed how Shi Luo had dodged his eyes away. Luckily, he hadn’t flinched away from his touch. So he still had a chance. In a low voice he asked him once more, Luo Luo, won’t you let me be a proper soulmate?”

Shi Luo couldn’t help it. He didn’t care if he sounded bratty or childish. He just needed reassurance. “You won’t leave me again will you?”

“I won’t.”

“You’ve liked me after all this time?”

“I’ve liked you all this time.”

“You like me now?”

Yu Sui smiled at that question. Unlike before where he answered immediately, here he paused for a few seconds causing Shi Luo to look up at him with suspicion. “I loved you now, then and always will.”

Even in the dim light of the courtyard. Yu Sui could see red appear on the tips of his soulmate’s ears. He gently brought his other hand up from his side and onto Shi Luo’s back. “Shi Luo, can you let me make you happy?”

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading~ I hope I pulled at your heartstrings~ 
> 
> I plan to write more about Whisper and Evil (first I gotta finish some other fanfics...)


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